


Somewhere we could call hell

by Donotmind_mehere



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Boys Kissing, Canon-Typical Violence, Chorus (Red vs. Blue), Chorus Trilogy (Red vs. Blue), Crash Landing, Cussing, Cyborg Dick Simmons, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Established Relationship, Grimmons, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Mentioned AI Program Epsilon | Leonard Church, Mentioned Agent Carolina (Red vs. Blue), Minor Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Night Terrors, Nightmares, POV Second Person, Paranoia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stabbing, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28586205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donotmind_mehere/pseuds/Donotmind_mehere
Relationships: Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Somewhere we could call hell

On the ship to Earth, you had the AutoDoc repair your ear that had been damaged from the battle with the Robot Texs. It had been the cybernetic ear that took a stray bullet so you had not immediately noticed it was damaged. 

“Carolina and I need to go in there alone.” Church said but you all turned to Washington who as much you knew was just affected by all of this as they were and from the sometimes subtle sometimes not so subtle hints they dropped imply he had more reason then you all. 

Washington nods at them and you wonder for a while why, until you catch up to him, grabbing him by the shoulder and him slowing at your pace. 

“wash,why aren’t you going with them.” 

He sighs, removing the helmet he threw at Carolina’s feet only a short time ago, his eyes have bags and dark circles beneath them, he’s tired beyond any night terror you’ve ever had, you can feel the countless nights of sleep that he’s lost in the emotionless stare he’s giving you. 

“Because, whatever they’re going to do to him is better than what I would do.” His tone is flat and somehow that doesn’t ease your nerves. 

You nod and lag back to Grif. 

“What’d he say?” He asks. 

But you didn’t hear him at the time so you both followed the group, not talking, until he pulled you back by the shoulder and turned you to face him. 

“Is there a reason you just ignored me?” He asked

“I didn’t hear you say anything.” 

“You’re joking right?” 

You shake your head. 

“Then how can you hear me now?”

“I don’t…” you trail off. 

You can’t feel pain in any of your cybernetic parts but so you take your helmet off and you both instantly notice the nearly fatal flaw. A bullet sized hole in the left side of the armor of your helmet, your heart seizes up and Grif’s gaze remains on the damaged equipment.

“Fuck.” Grif says and immediately rips the helmet from your hands and let’s it fall to the ground. He turns your head so he’s able to see if there was any damage to your head and yeah, there was.

“Jesus Christ.” he says under his breath. 

“What is it!?” You're worried but at what you’re still not sure, if it had killed you, you wouldn’t have been having this conversation and there wasn’t any blood in the part of you body that was replaced by metal and wires. 

“There's a piece of your left ear missing.'' He says and gently tilts your head to move closer to him “I think the bullet somehow lodged itself inside of there.” 

“What?” You ask, rendered speechless by his diagnosis.

“Just,” he grabs your helmet off the ground and shoves it back on your head, a little harshly “DON'T tell anyone yet, okay?” 

You nod, only agreeing because you didn’t want Sarge playing doctor on your body again. 

——

Finding out that the Director of Project Freelancer was under investigation and you all had just done the UNSC’s oversight committee the biggest favor by killing him, was the biggest relief in your life. 

You originally figured that Carolina killing him was going to hurt yours and Grif’s chances at that pardon, only to find out that in another twist of cruel fate, you two were never really in the military once you had been selected as troops for Freelancer training. 

Finding out that the vessel would be taking you all to Earth for an official debrief of the entire series of events was a very bitter sweet moment. 

“I can’t wait for you to see what it looks like.” Grif said, eyes shining with excitement. 

“Yeah me either.” You say dully. 

It’s been a few days since your ear has been repaired, keeping it a secret from the others wasn’t too difficult considering they only tended to notice you and Grif when it was convenient. 

The trip to Earth is going to be delayed slightly due to a couple stops the vessel needs to make, so you’re all due to go into cryo tomorrow for the rest of the trip but something about the trip is sitting like a rock in your stomach. 

“Simmons,” his tone drops and his hand moves to yours “what’s wrong?” 

You find it strangely comforting that he’s using your last name, you wonder for a dumb moment if that is going to change when you get to Earth, will he still call you by your last name when you’re both old and grey? 

“I’ve never been to Earth.” You say to him flatly. 

“I know.” He says, a bit confused.

You shrug and his clasp on your hand becomes a little bit tighter, you’re both staring out at the passing stars and it feels like a dumb romcom moment, the two lovers staring into the beautiful vastness of the director’s choice, holding hands, about to kiss, kissing, and then someone is going to come and interrupt you two, except that last part doesn’t happen. 

You feel the tears about to come before they’re leaking out of your eyes, you pull out of the kiss and wipe them away. 

“Goddamn.” You say under your breath. 

“What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing because I’m not fucking stupid.” 

You stand up, then sit down, before standing up again and you hate yourself because it’s taking you way too long to find the words to explain what is wrong or really that there isn’t anything wrong and that you’re scared about going to Earth, you’re scared of the quiet and not so quiet of it, you’re worried that you’re never going to  _ normal  _ again and that someone will always be wrong with you. You release these fears to him, feeling guilty because you know he has his own, feeling guilty because you should be happy and maybe this is all just made up, in your head. 

“It’s going to be okay.” he says holding you tight. 

You would have believed him, maybe, but a sudden and unbelievably strong pull knocks you both of your balance and the lights turn red with the sound of the ship’s alarm. You knew there wasn’t any actual turbulence in space so the alternative ways that are causing this to happen mean only one of two things. 

Option One: you’re all going to die because the slip space drive is completely fucked 

Or Option Two: You’re all going to crash on a planet and die. 

And the answer to your question comes in the form of the whine of the ship’s coms coming to life and the captain telling the crew to:

**_“Brace for impact, this is not a drill! I repeat, brace for impact!”_ **

Facing your death isn't a normal pass time activity for  _ most _ people. 

Over the last too many years, you’ve faced and almost faced your death more times that you had fingers to count. And now you were being asked to again, fresh off the back of the possible panic attack you just had.

There was an almost hole in your chest this time and in a brief moment of morbidity, you realize that facing your death isn't terrifying at all or at least not as much as the last hundred times.

So you decide you want to spend your last moments happy and for once, you in Grif are in perfect sync as he grabs you and pulls you down into a kiss. 

This kiss isn’t deliberate and soft like the first kiss the two of you ever shared, nor is it angry and drunken like the second and third, this kiss, you both realize this is possibly the last moment you’ll ever share together, so it’s desperate and there’s actual tears from you both, the two of you hoping to make your last moments alive, worth living. 

Before the ship crashes a sharp pain shoots through your left ear and you feel Grif being ripped from your arms, you shout something unintelligible as you reach out to try and grab him, before your entire world turns black.

———

How you and Grif survived without your armor is truly a miracle. At times you wonder how things could have or would have been different if you both had died, or at least you. Maybe they would have been better off simply because Washington would have been less paranoid without you there. 

You woke Washington up one night, two weeks after the crash. You’re not sure if you regret it but the stab wound in your shoulder does. 

Ever since you landed here your stomach has been a mixed bag of fear and anxiety. So when you’re woken up not one but four times to a sharp screeching that distantly reminds you of a radio frequency being tuned, you decide it’s no longer a coincidence.

_ “ _ Wash, wake up.” You gently shook him, attempting not to wake the other people in the base. 

Suddenly, you’re pinned to the ground, Wash’s pale eyes staring down at you. 

“Was-“ his hand clamps around your mouth and your head the unsheathing of a knife and the sharp pain in your human shoulder. 

You scream loudly into his palm and struggle against the Freelancer’s grip, as he shouts nonsense at you that you can barely hear over the pain and ringing in your ears. 

“What the hell is she?” 

“Where is Epsilon!?” 

“Who sent you here?!” 

You twist and finally it occurs to you to bite his hand. 

“What the fuck is going on!?” Tucker shouts as he enters the room. 

You struggle and turn to look at him, you feel like your eyes are going to pop out of your head.

“Get him the fuck off of me!” You shout at Tucker. 

He rushed over and pulled the stronger man off you and if by some form of either magic or luck, Wash snaps out of his trance. 

“What the fuck happened?!” Tucker shouts at you. 

“Why are you yelling at me?! He attacked me!” 

“What were you doing in his room?!” 

“Nothing anymore! Goddamn it!” You shout, hesitating to look at the wound on your shoulder. It isn’t as bad as you expected, thankfully you weren’t in your armor’s body suit, so he only damaged a standard issue fatigue shirt. 

“What the fuck happened?!” Grif asks when you finally stumble back to base and wake him up. 

“Just,” you grit “ just, help me stop the bleeding and I’ll tell you.” 

You feel the final stitch being pulled and you’re surprised you haven’t bitten your tongue off.

“You can’t,” you clamp your teeth hard “you can’t act like he did this on purpose.” 

“He fucking stabbed you!” 

“No shit! But he wasn’t awake..” 

“I don’t care!” 

“Dex,” you try to stand up but he puts a hand on your other shoulder and eases you back down. 

“Why were you even in his room this late?”

You softly tap your left ear and explain to him the screeching noise you heard. 

“I think the AutoDoc fucked up the frequency.” You say. 

“Where’s Lopez when you need him.” You mumbles and you softly bat his arm.

“This isnt the time for smartass comments.” 

He rolls his eyes 

“Fine but do you think maybe the noise you heard was just a dream?” 

You shake your head. 

“I heard it even when I woke up.” 

There’s a moment of silence between the two of you're hoping there is where it ends for now, you want to go to sleep and take a page out his book and just sleep the day away, anything would be better than having to discuss what comes next. 

“it could have been another nightmare.” He says slowly and quietly.

“Grif,” you start and never finish.

“It’s fine, let’s just, go to bed okay?” 

“Fine.” 

You're not mad but the worry bubbles in the same place the anger would have so even though he’s there in the same bed as you, you may as well have been sleeping alone that night. 

And maybe it's the crash that’s jostled everyone but you know what you heard and you know why you went to Washington first. 

And maybe you should have told this to Grif, but if he thought it was a dream he may have gotten the wrong idea, you know he hasn’t fully forgiven Washington for all the damage he’s caused. So you wonder how he’d react to you hearing his name ‘ _ David’  _ screeched into your ears by unfamiliar voices that have never previously haunted your dreams.


End file.
